Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
