Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
