About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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