i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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