Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
