It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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