hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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