Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize