I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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