is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
