i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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