please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
