She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
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