i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
