mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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