He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
