She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
We need to get me chipped asap
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
