Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
