We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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