Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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