Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I love having hate sex.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
