So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
