awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
