Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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