This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
