You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
