...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
