You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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