Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
