She's JV to your varsity
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
