she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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