Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
