end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
