your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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