the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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