omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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