I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
