I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
