butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
