I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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