PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My breasts were aching with rage.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
