member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
