when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
