You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
