So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
