you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
