you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
