Already got asked if we're dating
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
