Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
