Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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