This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
